LOL Scene

I recommend waiting until after you’ve read the book to read deleted scenes. It will help you better understand characters and the dynamics of the story in the deleted scene.

Deleted scene from LOL: Laugh Out Loud by Lucy Lennox and Molly Maddox

Scotty

Deleted Scenes And The Readers Who Love Them

After helping my mother track down some fancy bath bombs in a hallway linen closet, I figured I could count on at least a half hour of not having to worry about her sticking her nose in places and discovering Polly’s presence.

I descended the wide staircase toward the front of the house when I heard the pounding on the front door.

Diana came from the direction of the living room carrying the Kindle I’d seen her reading from earlier. Sonya trailed her, asking for a drink of water.

“I got it,” she called up to me. But when she opened the door to a masked man, I flew down the remaining stairs and slammed the door closed in his face. “Shit,” she squeaked. “Who was that?”

“I don’t know. Find Roman. I’ll call the cops.”

Diana huddled Sonya off toward the kitchen and den area while I pulled out my phone and dialed 911 with shaking fingers.

After telling the dispatcher that a man with a black ski mask had come to the house, she asked if he’d broken in.

“No.”

“Did he threaten you in some way?”

“No.”

There was a pause.

“Is he able to get into the house?”

“I don’t think so. I locked the door.”

Another pause.

“What’s your emergency, exactly?”

“There’s a man with a ski mask on our front porch!” I cried.

“Mr. Pinker, this is Vermont in winter. It’s ski season and we’re under a blizzard warning. Many, many men are wearing ski masks today. Are you sure it’s someone threatening?”

Roman came careening around the corner from the direction Diana had disappeared in.

“Oh thank god. Here, talk to him,” I said, handing the phone to Roman. Surely he’d know what to do.

“Who’s this? I thought someone was at the door,” Roman asked, holding the phone like it was a strange object.

“Yeah, the boogeyman. But the 911 operator thinks maybe it’s just a guy who’s cold.”

Roman blinked at me and peered out the window. “How did someone even get here… shit.”

“What?”

“It’s a photographer. Wait… is that a snowmobile? What the fuck?”

“Sir?” We heard the distant voice of the operator.

“Sorry,” Roman said, stepping back and bringing the phone to his ear. “I think it’s a tabloid photographer. Is it possible to send someone around to help clear him from the property? He’s trespassing.”

“I’ll tell him to leave,” I suggested.

Roman looked at me like I’d just suggested french-kissing a great white shark. “You will not,” he said firmly.

The commanding tone woke my dick up in a very inappropriate way.

“Yes, sir,” I mumbled, reaching down to adjust. 

And kind of rub a little.

Roman’s eyebrows lifted. “Is that right?” he asked. “Now? In the middle of all this?”

“Shut up.”

There was knocking on the door again.

Lolo descended the stairs. Why was the man always floating and gliding? It was like he lived his life on wheels. “Why this incessant banging?” he asked in a bothered tone. 

Larry trailed after him like a duckling. “Yeah, we were in the middle of banging when we heard the banging. Heh.”

“TMI, Lawrence,” Lolo warned.

Larry puffed up his chest and pushed past all of us to swing the front door wide open. Roman skittered behind the open door, yanking me along with him, leaving Lolo and Larry to face the masked intruder.

“Watchu want?” Larry barked.

We watched with rapt attention as Lolo wrapped himself elegantly around Larry’s stubby body and took his hairy earlobe into his mouth.

Roman made a gagging sound beside me.

“Holy fuck,” I whispered. “This is it.”

“This is what?” Roman asked.

“Lolo’s moment. Larry’s outing. It’s like a car crash. I can’t look away.”

“Did you know,” Roman whispered into my ear; I could hear the smirk in his voice, “if they got married, they’d be Lloyd and Lawrence Lovegrove?”

I snorted but tried not to laugh. “Shh.”

Roman’s arms came around my front and pulled me back against his chest. “You’re the most fun person I’ve ever met,” he murmured into my ear.